Boggled Bobbin

I'm doing this:

Fancy Forest

The first class was Sunday.  Sorting & organizing & cutting.  I think there will be a lot of that going on.  Each owl has over 40 pieces.  We're gonna start with the Foxes - those only have about 12.

Clearly, I've lost my mind.

xo
sash

Books of the ******FUTURE*****

Let's ignore, for the moment, that I have several (dozens) of physical books at home that I have not yet read.

Let's also set aside the knowledge that my Kindle contains a few (scores) of books that I also have not read.

There may be some (a large stack of) untouched quilting magazines too.

Click Here For More!

Forget all that.

Because LOOK!!   

     Books from the 
        FUTURE!!!!

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I'm quite excited about the release of Adulthood is a Myth: a Sarah's Scribbles Collection. 



Here's a sample of this awesome comic & a link to check out more.

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I'm a big fan of Augusten Burroughs & this book just popped up the Goodreads New Releases email:


Expected Release Date:
29 march 2016

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And then there is this:



Yeah.

I love me some Rainbow Rowell.

This is one of a handful of selected short reads specially produced for World Book Day 

Release date (& world book day) - 
3 march 2016

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Another upcoming release is 

EDGE: A YA/New Adult Paranormal Collection

This cool collection - 20 shorts stories by best selling YA authors - will release on 5 april 2016.  I love short stories. Such a great way to meet new authors & to see how favorite authors unfold & conclude a story in a limited space.

I've been asked to give an honest review of this collection in exchange for a free copy.  There is no ARC, so I'm on the pre-order list & am super excited to read & review this set.

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It's a grey day in February.  I can't promise that the immediate future is BRIGHT, but I'm pretty sure it will be full of BOOKS, & what's better on a cloudy day than books?

xo

sash

Breakfast Club Phenomenon

The Breakfast Club Phenomenon (patent pending) is a great foundation for a story (& for most "real life" encounters).  Curtain rises on well sorted cast - Good guys over there, bad guys over here.  Slacker, bimbo, preppy, good girl, rebel... etc.  Cue the clueless adults.  Mix in one heart of gold.  

Then some sort of (varying degrees of contrived/ improbable) stuff* happens.  Opposites are tossed together.  Arch rivals* are forced to cooperate.   Hardships & madcappery reveal the nuances & quirks in each player.  Stereotypes are crushed. Prejudice tossed aside.  Unlikely pairings form, break apart, reform, etc.  Sometimes, in the end, even the adults are more/less cool/dorky than everyone thought.

Here's a new Breakfast Club Phenomenon book that I really enjoyed.  

The Improbably Theory of Ana & Zac 




Just because there is a formula, that does not mean this book are formulaic!  Not at all.  Where everyone starts, where they end up, & all the hi-jinx in between make for a fabulous read.  The plot, the setting, the epiphanies, & the individual growth - those are the core of a YA novel & a mirror of real life.

Along the way, our hearts are captured by these crazy kids because it's so very familiar.  Growing up (& continuing to grow) is so much about finding out we are more than our talents & background.  We push against & break out of the molds & shockingly, the people around us break free too - even free of the boxes that we put them in.  

de chicks can't handle de smoke.  dat's what it is.

Click on the original gang for other BCP books I like (when I get that list made)


xo
sash

* You know - stuff.  (Do my impressive literary terms intimidate you?  Make me less approachable?)
* What is the plural of nemesis?  Apparently, it's "arch rivals". (My vocabulary is second only to my spelling)

Down for the count

What's the opposite of a countdown?  

A count-up? Or maybe just...a count?

The countdown I talked about here came to an end on Sunday.  Final count: 35,388.  96 years, 10 months, 18 days.

The new count is now at 4.  4 sunrises to watch.  4 first cups of coffee.  4 days without Harold G. Schmidt alive on this planet.

At some point, I'll lose count.  Another day without him will just be, well, another day.  Without him.  I might forget to count, but I'll never forget him.

My daddy wasn't perfect, but he was amazing.  Like a character from the westerns he LOVED to read.

You rode this one to the barn, daddy.  We're gonna be ok.  You rest now.

You've certainly earned it.

Harold Glenn Schmidt
March 21, 1919 - February 7, 2016

xo

sash

About Time

An hour stuck in traffic v an hour in World of Warcraft.

The hour of sleep from 10pm to 11pm v the hour from 5am to 6am.

We have gears & atomic vibrations to pinpoint the duration of those 60 minutes.  They are exactly the same length of time.

One day (tomorrow for example) v the past 35,328 days.

That's 96 years, 8 months, 19 days that my dad has been on this earth.  And tomorrow is one more that he will probably still be here.

Ticking by.  The hours we spend & waste.  The days we try to notice & use wisely, but may regret & second guess.

The vast past.

The future.

And yes, it is "about time" that I post again.  Two months.  Oy.  I have done things.  Sewing things. Reading things. Hitting things with sticks.  Singing, crying, laughing.  Wrestling the puppy & hiding in my room.

This day, I will do what I can.  I will work, share love, & try not to spatter crazy on anyone.

I will savor each moment - except the ones that I don't - & I will strive to not wig out about it either way.

xo

sash

Quite Chuffed

First time I heard (read) it, I thought chuffed was like ticked or bugged - a bad, bent-out-of-shape kinda thing.  But it's not.  It's a good, tickle-with-myself kinda thing.

I admit it.  I'm feeling quite chuffed about how this turned out.

Starry Portal Bargello - Artisan Spirit fabrics with Handspray border

I still have to add the binding but otherwise it's finished!

I'm thrilled with the quilting work that was done by Just Quilting Pdx.  I told her what I sorta wanted & she gave me more than I could have hoped!  This thing is enormous (97" x 97") & she did a beautiful, border to border design that increased the motion, highlighted the fabric, & reduced the pixelated feel of the bargello.

I hope the newlyweds love it.  If not, the manchild will probably just bring it back home with him.  (He's chuffed too).

- sash

NB: Thanks to the kind words after my most recent post.  To those who said they can relate, I'm here any time you need to chat.  Really.  Even if you feel alone, you aren't ever alone.  XOXO - auntiesash.

Lost Days.

Lost days.

No - I'm not talking about sewing month or blogging - although those suffer too.  I'm talking about the days that just disappear into the haze of depression, anxiety, & their tag-alongs, disappointment, self-hate, inertia, & (the head minion) downward spiral.

Thursday night I was ok.  The week was feeling long but I made it to Katrina's for Project Runway.  Yeah - I ate about 1/2 a box of salted truffle cookies for dinner, but I also sorted some scraps and cut some fabric.

And Friday wasn't my best day, but I got the quilt top delivered to the long arm quilter.  I made it through the week, was functional at work, & hadn't collapsed or spattered too much crazy on my family & friends

But then Saturday.

I get how stupid it is.  Friday was fine.  Saturday wasn't.

So I wake up Saturday.  I have a great family, an adorable dog.  There are interesting things to be done, nothing pressing to stress about.  I'm fed and housed and loved and healthy and still.....

I just couldn't.

I couldn't get up for several hours.

Once up, I couldn't stay up - going back to bed for "just a little while".

The spiral had started.  I was trapped.

I forced myself to go into the sewing room.  I just looked at the fabric, the machine, all the inspiration and resources - and then turned off the light and went back to my room.

I wasn't really sleeping.  There is something kinda wholesome and healing about naps.  At least I'd be resting up for the week ahead - or something.

But I wasn't sleeping.  Not all the time.  I'd try to read.  And look at pinterest.  I took 47 pictures of the dog.  Spent a good chunk of time rearranging books on my Kindle.  Most the time I just lie there.  Holding my phone, but not doing anything with it.  Looking at the clock, but not seeing the time.

There were so many things I didn't do this weekend.  Some just impacted me.  Some spattered crazy on my family & friends.  That made me curl up even tighter with despair & frustration, but I couldn't do a thing.

Depression is like that, you know?  You can be on it and doing the right things and then...you're under it.  I dunno why.  I don't think anyone knows why.

I have this list of things that, even if I don't WANT to do them, I've decided I'm WILLING to do them.  This is a behavioral approach to the whole thing.  Think of it like brushing your teeth - it's not like you WANT to, but you are WILLING to so that you stay healthy etc.

I love to sew but depression lies to me about that.  Tells me I'd rather watch youtube or take a nap.  So the plan is that, even if I don't think I WANT to be creative, I'm WILLING to go into the sewing room and do something.  Anything.  Sometimes I futz around for a few minutes.  Sometimes a project captures me & time flies.  Either way, I'm doing something to reorganize my brain - to work around the confusion of depression.

Most times, this really helps.

On the lost days?  I just can't.  The will & the want - both disappear.  The day ticks by.  People expect me & I fail them.  Moments of fun, pleasure, connection are lost.  Nothing useful or pleasant or productive or entertaining came from this precious day.  It's lost.

Today could have been lost too.  The "not doing" started early.  At noon, I was able to shower.  Even if I'm going back to bed, I reasoned, I could go back to bed smelling better.

It's a start.

I know this post is heavy and wordy and rambly.  There also isn't any way to wrap this up.  If taking a shower is my victory for the weekend, witty phrasing isn't on the table & there is no ending.  I just felt like this was one thing I could do.  Put words here.  For myself.  For other people who feel this.  For people who don't.  For the people I hurt or disappoint when I stop being myself.  (Just changed that last sentence to present tense because it's, no doubt, gonna happen again.)

How about a funny picture from facebook?

Note: I don't really get this urge.  To be
             able to leap to my own defense that
             way - even in my mind - I'd have to
             be a lot healthier than I actually am.

Like I said.  It's a start.